


Lost Until You Found Me - Judgement Day

by Lethallan97



Series: Lost Until You Found Me (Part 1) [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Broken Fenris, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Imprisonment, Lyrium, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Past Male Hawke/Fenris, Past Solas/Lavellan, Prison, Series gets smutty later, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10023527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethallan97/pseuds/Lethallan97
Summary: 'Hawke was gone. Gone because of that bitch had left him behind, that so called Herald of Andraste who saved the world and healed the sky, but she destroyed my world. She saved the shell of the broken one he knew before. A world riddled with hatred, fear and atrocity. A world that wasn’t worth saving.'Sentence to death, Fenris rots in an inquisition cell after attempting to take revenge on the Inquisitor for leaving Hawke to die in the fade. However, The Dread Wolf has much bigger plans for him.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Errors in tense etc. now fixed, thanks to my lovely new beta sharksgrin!Overall Series Summary:With Hawke lost in the fade, a lost Fenris joins Fen'Harel in the hopes that if the veil is torn down he can search for her.Solas wanted Fenris for his lyrium brands, hoping that their power can be enhanced to the extent that they could replace the lost foci to tear down the veil, but the two soon become close. Both are broken men, suffering the loss of a love - Hawke and his beloved vhenan - they find solace in one another in their loneliness and grief.





	1. The Scarlet Token

**Author's Note:**

> So, ages ago I wrote a short one-shot of this series idea to test it out.  
> I really loved the idea, so now I am back to turn it into a larger series. I will be doing it in parts, as I believe it will be a series of 'snapshots' from their story rather than one big continuous story, and while the other smutty 'Lost until you found me (short version)' is up, it will not be fitted into the series (with amendments) until later on. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Now betaed by the lovely sharksgrin!

I groaned, a hiss pushing past clenched teeth as my vision swam and my head pounded. I pushed myself up to my knees tentatively, every muscle aching. The stone was cold beneath my palms, achingly so, and I gagged as the smell of blood and filth assaulted my nostrils as consciousness began to fully claim me. 

My hands were covered in dried blood, knuckles split where I had punched and thrown myself at the steel bars of my prison, like a wild beast seeking only freedom or death. 

I lifted my head and looked around me, and saw only a bucket in the corner and a spot covered in lice ridden hay to serve as a bed. My throat was day and ached, and I winced as I licked my chapped lips and reopened a stinging wound. 

There was nothing to drink, nor was there food. I had been stripped of my armour and weapons before being beaten it seemed, not that that made me any less dangerous, and the only thing that covered my skin was the mottled blues and purples of bruises and the softly glowing lyrium etched into my flesh casting a faint glow onto the cell floor.

I tried to stand, but my head swam and a tell-tale darkness began to swim in my vision. Better not try that, then. 

I crawled on aching knees protesting and dragged myself to the makeshift bedding, and collapsed in a heap upon it. I panted hard, breath billowing in a cloud in the cold as exhaustion took me, and darkness rushed over my head. I fell gratefully into its embrace. 

* * **

“Wake up, shit head!” I cried out as a boot collided with what was undoubtably a broken rib and hot white agony sliced through me. I cracked open my eyes, too bright light blinding me for a moment as a woman cackled.

“Sentencing day! You killed a lot of good folks, and nearly killed my friend too. Now you’re gonna get it.” The woman was an elf with short, sandy hair cropped close to her face, which was twisted in an ugly sneer. She threw something through the bars at me and turned, scurrying off mumbling.

“Fuckin’ elfy, cock-munchin’, arse-face…”, she locked the cell door again, her voice dwindling as she retreated down the hallway and slammed a heavy door, the sound ringing in my ears and slicing through my head like a knife. 

I crawled over to what she had thrown, a rock-hard roll of bread and what looked like a waterskin. I grabbed the skin in near desperation, immediately uncorking it and bringing it to my lips, groaning in relief. The water was stale, obviously had been in the skin for far too long, but it felt like pure ambrosia to my parched throat. I grabbed the roll next and, not bothering to pull it apart, just attacked it with my teeth and devoured it quickly, despite the effort leaving my gums aching.

A pair of smallclothes were hanging from the bars at the door, and I grabbed them to pull them on. A small strip of cloth fell out, and I froze. It was my crimson token, that had been hidden away inside the smallclothes… no doubt Varric’s work, some sort of apology maybe.

I reached for it, clutching it tightly, and clenched my eyes as if closing out the world would make it go away entirely.

This was his. Once this had encased my wrist, a reminder of who I had become and who I fought to be with. Who I loved. Now, who I lost.

I clenched my teeth, jaw aching, and choked up, gasping for breath as I felt my cheeks grow wet and my vision blur. Hawke was gone. Gone because of that bitch that had left him behind, that so called Herald of Andraste who saved the world and healed the sky, who destroyed my world. She saved the shell of the broken one I knew before. A world riddled with hatred, fear and atrocity. A world that wasn’t worth saving. 

That was why I came here. That was why I ripped the still beating hearts from the chests of her guards, why I almost did the same to her. I would have, had a familiar grief stricken face behind a crossbow not sank into my shoulder, and a mountain of Qunari not buried me, pinning me helpless to the floor. 

I snarled, the skin of my hand splitting in a the blissful distraction of agony as my fist drove into the floor, blood smearing beautifully across the stone. I stood, revelling in the pain that shot through my body as it protested the movements, and I pulled on the smallclothes and tied the blood stained token around my wrist. 

The door opened once again, the clang echoing ominously as three men entered, followed by a dark haired woman with short hair and scar across her left jaw. A frown was on her face, but her eyes turned to pity when she saw me, a blood and tear stained mess on the floor with my face like furious thunder.

“I… You need to come with us. I would rather not make this more… unpleasant that it has to be.” She spoke with a thick Nevarran accent, and had an air of authority about her, but she didn't manage to keep her voice steady. Her eyes were downcast, to the floor. No… to the token around my wrist. 

I narrowed my eyes, rising to unsteady feet. My hands clenched into fists and nails broke the skin of my palms. I did not need her pity. 

“I will be pleasant. I will be pleasant, when that bitch lies dead and Hawke walks through these halls.” I snarled, my brands lighting and their comforting, familiar ache spreading over my body. 

The woman sighed, as if she regretted this, and cast her eyes down as she waved a hand to the other three. One, a heavily built redheaded man withdrew his sword, and advanced on me with the other two close behind.

I snarled, and waited, like a snake waiting for the perfect time to pounce. 

One reached for my injured arm, and that was it. I grabbed the man’s shoulder and lit my brands before thrusting my hand into the man’s chest, crushing his heart within him. I reached for the other man, ready to end this man’s pitiful, worthless existence until I heard a familiar voice.

“Fenris, stop.” The dwarf pushed past the Nevarran woman, and stood in front of my next prey. Varric stared at me, eyes shining with unshed tears and a hand spread out as if to calm a startled beast. 

“He wouldn’t want this. You know he wouldn’t.” He begged, and that was strange to my ears. The dwarf who joked and told wild storied, looking at me like he didn’t even know who I was anymore.

I looked down at my fist, at the fresh wet blood coating it, with little chunks of flesh clinging to my fingers. On my wrist, the token lay soiled with blood. I dropped my hand, shoulders beginning to shake as tears spilled down my cheeks again, and two hands pushed me to my knees and bound my hands in front of me, before lifting me roughly with a hand beneath each arm. 

My head hung down, staring at the cobbles. I could feel their gaze on me, could hear Varric telling them to be gentle with me if they could. I didn’t want that though. I needed the pain, needed it to ground me so I didn’t fall into memories of things I could never have again. 

Judgement day had come. With any luck, the Inquisitor would just kill me. This world wasn’t worth it anymore. 


	2. If There Are To Be Introductions

Magic thrummed in the air, itching at my skin like insects, and I spun around on the cell bedroll, my hands planted firmly on the floor and my knees pulled beneath me, ready to pounce at the first sign of danger.

“So, you are the lyrium warrior I have heard so much about. Not exactly what I expected, I admit.” A calm voice floated from the darkness, seeming to come from every direction at once 

“Reveal yourself, mage.” I snarled. I was useless blind. I activated my brands, the lyrium thrumming against my skin uncomfortably, casting a blue glow across the cell. 

“You sensed my magic from this distance? That is… remarkable, for a non-mage.” The voice mused, growing louder as the speaker approached. I crouched lower, muscles ready to spring, and I felt for the wisp of magic in the air to give him away… and… there.

I launched myself towards the cage bars to the left of the cell, and closed my arm around a pale neck. I bared my teeth, growling and yanked the mage's face closer. 

A bald elf, dressed in what looked to be fine elven armour, with the skin of an animal bound across one shoulder and a traveling cloak hood fallen back to reveal his pale face. Magic pulsed underneath the fingers around the elf’s neck, greater than I had ever felt before. 

“Abomination!” No mere man could have much power, not without demons involved. I squeezed harder, but the man only smirked and flicked his fingers sending me flying into the back wall. I hissed, pain lancing through my back as I slid back down to the floor.

“I am no abomination, da’len. Nor do I wish to harm you, so it would be preferable that you stay down.” He walked calmly, completely unaffected, as if he had not just a moment ago been strangled through the iron bars. 

“Did I kill one of your friends, too? If you are here to kill me, I am afraid you are a little late.” I spat out the metallic taste in my mouth and gave a dry laugh. The elf stopped outside the iron door and inspected the lock. 

“I did hear about your little…. Rampage. Your sentencing as well. It is not often that the Inquisitor resorts to death sentences, but you did almost kill her and successfully killed… was it 22 of her men?” his eyebrow rose delicately, seeming slightly impressed.

“23, as of yesterday” I looked over at the blood stained onto the floor of the cell, where the red headed man had died. 

“Indeed? Quite impressive. However, time is short. I come to you with an offer, little wolf.” He gracefully clenched his hand into a fist and jerked it back, a sharp tang of magic permeating the foul air and making my markings flare in the dark. The deadbolt of the cell unlocked and swung open, and the man stood in the doorway.

“An offer?” I scoffed, “I do not know who you are, be you an abomination, a demon or an elf. Yet you expect me to accept an offer?” The man walked forward and stood in front of where I had fallen, looking down at me with a slight smile.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions…”


End file.
